critical dialogue and self-protection

Engaging in critical dialogue online can be a challenge. The goal is to participate in lively discussions in which there is give-and-take and parties are mutually benefited. But attempts at online criticism can come across as harsh and hurt feelings can result. Online communication doesn't provide the physical cues that face-to-face communication does. There are no subtleties of body language, facial expressions, or tone of voice to provide physical cues.

So when participants initiate a dialogue, they are entering the unknown. When opportunities to engage in constructive criticism arise, there can be hesitation and polite exchanges. Or overly long discussions about shared assumptions, like ground rules, for example, will take place. Participants can feel the need to both delve deeply into a topic or debate. But at the same time, they want to attend to human needs and relationships. This internal conflict can lead to cautious postings and superficial discussions because participants want to avoid being hurt or inflicting harm. But hurt may be unavoidable. Participants may still experience the “sting” of criticism because of the nature of intentional or unintentional critical dialogue and trying to avoid it can result in losing out on a learning experience.

"To protect us from the intense discomfort of the unknown, people invent a structure of artifacts, drawn from culture and beliefs that correspond to a form of territoriality that needs to be defended against chaos when a threat arises to a key belief, the emotional consequences can be devastating." (Lambert, 1998, p 20)